Funny Magic .

Funny Magic .

:)

Smart Student .

TEACHER / WRITE THE LARGEST NUMBER YOU CAN .

:)

Catch a Rabbit

Catch a Rabbit

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The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Teacher's Jokes [3]

Teacher's Jokes [3]

TEACHER: Sam , why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
Sam: You told me to do it without using tables!

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Teacher: Jack, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's , did you copy it ?

Jack: No ,teacher , it's the same dog ... !!

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Teacher: Jack , There are 10 elephants swimming in a pond . A boy jumps inside and swims underneath them and counts the number of legs. There are only 36 legs.HOW??
Jack: One elephant was swimming BACKSTROKE!!

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Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ??

Sam: No sir , Idon't have to , my mom is a good cook

******

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
green and one is blue with red spots!
Mark: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same
at home. !!

******

Teacher's Jokes [1]

Teacher's Jokes [2]

Teacher's Jokes [2]

Teacher's Jokes [2]

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

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Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?

Jim: I want to be a pilot.
Vinod: I want to be a doctor.
Deepa: I want to be a good mother.

Ravi: I want to help Deepa.

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Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives
us light only in the day time when we dont need it.

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Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.
Sam : It's a family tradition.

Teacher : What do you mean?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother?

Sam : She's a woman.

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Teacher's Jokes [1]

Teacher's Jokes [3]

Funny Jokes . :)

[] Funny Jokes []

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TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?

GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are .

******

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets.

She yelled at him,Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman .

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume

******

One day, a man was riding a horse.

He saw a dog on the road.

Good morning, the dog said.

I didn’t know dogs could talk, the man said.

Neither did I, the horse said.

******

:)

Funny Chicken ...

Funny Chicken ..

Chicken : Oh , God help me .

:)

Old Men and old Women ..

Old Men and Women .

Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them?
A: Look in the library under Romantic Fiction.

Q: How can a guy cope during his wife's menopause?
A: By staying busy. If you're mechanically inclined, you can remodel the garage. When you are finished you will have a flat in which to live.

Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?
A: She should tell him she's with child.

Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?
A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles.

Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?
A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is.

Q: Do older people have problems storing their short term memories?
A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage.

Q: Do older people have deeper sleep?
A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoon

Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?
A: On top of their heads.

Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by older people when they visit antique shops?
A: 'Gee, I have one of these.

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:)

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So Funny SMS

So Funny SMS

January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed....
U ....
R ....
always!!!! a HEADACHE to me
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A : If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
B : the days after marriage
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Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds!
Open ur eyes
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
fool
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I wrote ur name on the sands ,
it got washed away
I wrote ur name in air ,
it got blown away
So I wrote ur name in my heart ,
I got a HEART ATTACK
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LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire .....
continues with smoke ....
and ends in ashes
But dont worry
we are chain smokers
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Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
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The human brain is most outstanding thing .....
it functions 24hrs 365 days
it functions right from the time u r Born ....
until you fall in love
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Funny SMS

funny sms

What L O V E stands for?

L = Lake of Sorrow

O = Ocean of Tears

V = Valley of Death...

E = End of life

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Friendship is like a glass

handle it with care

because once broken cannot be mended...

and even if mended

a crack is always there

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When I open my eyes every morning i pray to God...

that everyone should have a friend like you

Why should only i suffer ha ha ha

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Roses are red, voilets are blue

Donkeys like you, are kept in Zoo

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Love is Pure

Love is Sure

Love is sweet poison that Doctors can't cure

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The rain makes all things beautiful

The grass & flowers too?

If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

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This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat cat, 20 seconds cat Now read it all without the word cat

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:) sms

Funny Tree

Tree : Why do you want to cut me ?!

Funny Baby ....

funny baby

I can see the world ...

:)

TEACHER'S JOKES ...

TEACHER'S JOKES

********************

TEACHER : Jack, what is the chemical formula for water?
JACK : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
JACK : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?

Joe : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

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TEACHER : Haile, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested .

HAILE : A teacher .

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TEACHER : Meron, go to the map and find North America.

MERON : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS : Meron

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TEACHER : Why are you late, DANIEL?

DANIEL: Because of the sign.

TEACHER : What sign?

DANIEL : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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:)

Teacher's Jokes [2]

Teacher's Jokes [3]

Husband Luck ...

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears :
You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times ..

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side.

You know what?" "What dear?", she gently asked, smiling as herheart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck.!!"

:)

Patient ...

Patient

Patient : Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
Doctor : When did you first notice this problem?
Patient : What problem?

:)

Jokes , HAVE FUN

Homework

Mike : Would you punish me for something I didn't do ??
Teacher : Of course not .
Mike : Good , because I haven't done my homework !!!

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Husband

Wife: Honey... What are You Looking for ?

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : Nothing..?? you have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour ??

Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date ...

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Mother & Wife

Son : Dad , What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?

Father : One Woman Brings you into this world crying... and the other ensures you Continue to do so !!

Funny Thirsty Baby ...

Funny Thirsty Baby ...

:)

Playing Football

PlayinG FootbalL

Demetri Martin , jokes ( video )

Demetri Martin

jokes

Demetri Martin Jokes , video (2)

JOKES ..

JOKES

Father: Did you enjoy your first day at school?

son: What , First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

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A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.

B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.!!

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MAN & WOMAN

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.

Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.

Woman: Let's start from your bank account.

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Father: Why are you late?

Son: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Father: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Son: No. I was standing on it.

:)