Saturday, December 19, 2009

blonde goes shopping

A blonde goes shopping and enters a shop selling electronic items . She goes to a salesman and says "  I want to buy this TV . "
The salesman says that he does not serve blondes . Irritated blonde goes back home and dyes her hair black .
Next day again she goes to the same shop and says " I want to buy this TV . " The salesman replies that he does not serve blondes .
Irritated blonde goes home and dyes her hair red.Next day she comes back to the same shop and asks another salesman that she wants to buy that TV . The salesman replies that he does not serve blondes . Irritated blonde replies " How come you know that I am a blonde . "
The salesman replies " It’s not a TV , it’s a microwave . "

How to reach Eiffel Tower ?

A blonde guy went to Paris and wanted to reach Eiffel Tower. He asked a man driving by how to reach Eiffel Tower . The man told him to wait for the bus 72 . It will take you directly to Eiffel Tower. After 4 hours the man came back and after seeing the blonde guy he asked him why had he not left till now . The blonde guy told him till now only 65 buses have passed and he will have to wait for 7 more buses !!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Honest Lawyer

A company wanted to hire some lawyers so they called for an interview .The first prospect who came looked very intelligent. The conversation between the company official and the lawyer :
Official: Why did you want to become a lawyer?
Lawyer: My father was a lawyer and I liked his job. He used to earn a good amount and I love money.
Official: It’s okay ! Everyone loves money.But what we want to know is that if you are honest.
Lawyer: Sir I am an honest lawyer.
Official: But can you prove it.
Lawyer: Yes! I paid back every single penny back to my father he had spent on my education right after my very first case.
Official: Good! What kind of a case it was?
Lawyer: Well! My dad sued me for that money.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Optical Tricks 1

Optical Tricks

Do not believe everything you see ..

 Optical Tricks

 Optical Tricks
Optical Tricks

Friday, November 6, 2009

Funny Bike

funny bike
Funny Bike

Monday, October 26, 2009

Happy Birthday

at the age of 100 ...

at the age of 100

Drunker and Smoker cat

Drunker and Smoker cat

Drunker and Smoker cat

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Knock Knock jokes 33

Knock Knock

Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Boliva who?

Boliva me, I know what I'm talking about!

Knock Knock jokes 32

Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Leaf who?

Leaf me alone?

Knock Knock jokes 31

Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Momma who?

Momma, please open the door!

Friday, October 2, 2009

I'm going to a date .

I'm going to a date

I'm going to a date .

Friday, September 18, 2009

Cultured Monkey

Cultured monkey

Cultured Monkey

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Un fou écrit une lettre

Un fou écrit une lettre

Le directeur lui demande:
A qui écrivez-vous ?
A moi.
Et qu'est-ce que vous y avez mis ?
Je ne sais pas,monsieur le directeur:
je ne l'ai pas encore reçue.

Tapette à mouche

Un femme arrive dans la cuisine et voit son mari avec une tapette a mouche ...
Que fais-tu?
Il répond:
Je chasse le mouches….
En as-tu tué ?
Oui.trios males,deux femelles.
Intriguée ,elle lui demande:
Comment fais-tu la différence entre les femelles et les males ?
Il répond:
Trois avssifent a côte du cigarette , deus sur le téléphone.

Cadeau d'anniversaire

Un mari et sa femme font les courses un samedi après midi :
- Chéri, c'est l'anniversaire de ma mère demain. Si on lui achetait un appareil électrique ?
- Bonne idée ! Qu'est ce que tu penses d'une chaise ?


maman, papa a dit que nous descendions tous du singe . c'est vrai
je n'en sais rien,ton pére a toujours refusé de me parler de sa famille.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Terrible nouvelle

Madame téléphone a son mari de son lieu de vacances
Tout va bien ?Le chat est en forme ?
Non,il est mort !
Tu pourrais me ménager,me préparer a cette terrible nouvelle.
Tu aurais pu me dire qu'il se promenait sur le bord du balacon.

Et maman,elle va bien ?
Elle se promenait sur le bord du balacon !!!!!

Le docteur

Le docteur : J'ai une mauvaise et une très mauvaise nouvelle pour vous.

Le patient :Quelle est la mauvaise ?!

Le docteur :Il vous reste un jour à vivre .

Le patient :C'est terrible ,et quelle est la plus mauvaise nouvelle ?

Le docteur :ça fait 24 heures que j'essaie de vous joindere…

( Qui veut gagner des millions )

C'est une blonde qui passe dans l'émission (Qui veut gagner des millions) .Bon ,elle arrive a la premiére question et elle bloque déja .
Elle dit :
Bon ,je vais utiliser le joker téléphonique).3-Elle téléphone a Djorj et lui dit :
Bonjour Djorj ,je coince la et je voudrais savoir :
a ton avis ,j'utilise le 50\50 ou l'avis du public ?!!!!!!!

les hommes des cavernes

le professeur donne un cours sur les hommes des cavernes
vous savez que les premiéres lettres sont enregistrées sur des roches
wow, dit michel a son copin, les facteurs devaient etre fatigués a la fin de leur journée ..

n'avait pas le temps

une mére a sa fille
mais enfin, susie ! avec qui parlais-tu pendant deux heures sur le pas de la porte en rentrant de l'école
avec julie, mais elle n'avait pas le temps d'entrer ..


Deux petits garcons

Deux petits garcons a l'école et a la récréation
tu crois qu'il y a du monde sur la lune
ben oui, c'est toujours allumé ....




The strongest egg

Saturday, September 12, 2009






Funny Sandals

Funny Sandals
. . .
. .

Funny Sandals

Warning from sharks

Warning from sharks ...

You may know how men catch sharks ,

But you don't know how sharks catch men !!

You want to know ?





Warning from sharks

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Funny Accidents (3)

Amazing Accidents
Funny Accidents (3)

Funny Accidents (2)

Funny Accidents Video

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Funny Accidents (1)

Funny Accidents

Friday, August 14, 2009

Funny Animals video

Funny Animals video

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Funny Questions And Answers (4)

Funny Questions And Answers

Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me

Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

Wife : Dear to day I had been to our family doctor. He told me that we should have vacation for one month for better health. Shall we go to Switzerland or States?
Husband : we will go to another doctor

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday !!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good !!

Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help..
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it..

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Funny Faces

funny facse in funny place Funny Faces

Funny Faces
soo Funny Faces
Funny Faces

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

funny walk

funny walk

Good Jump

Good jump
Good Jump

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Baby Taking Shower

Baby Taking ShowerBaby Taking Shower

Friday, July 24, 2009

Feline Diet

The Feline Diet

Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans ! Except for cats that eat like people such as getting lots of table scraps most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite) . the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure . Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck!


Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the .75 per can and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food: look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.

Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house.

Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die.

Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning.


Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.

Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.

Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed.

Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room.

Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished aluminum appliance you can find.

Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with.

Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor.

Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow.

Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon.

Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Feeding Cats

The modern way to feed cats ..

Feeding Cats

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Flexible Car

You want Flexible Car ??

here it is

Flexible Car

Funny Transport

Funny Transport Funny Transport .

Cat's Laptop

Cat's LaptopOh , I forgot the site ..


Funny baby looking for his bird.

Friday, June 26, 2009



Farmer Brown woke up one morning to discover that his one and only rooster was dead. The chickens had started to get rather restless, so he called his friend, Farmer Black, to see if he knew any place he could get a rooster. Farmer Black told him that Farmer Red, two roads over, was trying to sell some of his roosters, Farmer Brown thanked him, and drove over to Farmer Red's. He knocked on the door and Farmer Red answered. He told him that he wanted the horniest rooster he had. He had just the rooster. He came back a minute later with the rooster at his heels and said to Brown "This is Rudy. He's the horniest rooster I've seen this side of Texas." Farmer Brown took Rudy home and placed him in front of the chicken coop. For about and hour, he could hear was the flapping of feathers and very loud squawks. Rudy strutted out of the coop... and walked straight into the stables. For about an hour Farmer Brown could hear the stomping of hooves and very loud "neigh"ing. Rudy strutted out of the stable. But he didn't stop there. He marched straight into the cow's field. Farmer Brown, feeling he really didn't need to watch, went to bed. The next morning he woke up and walked outside, but he saw to his disappointment Rudy laying on his back on the front lawn, vultures circling overhead. As he approached the rooster, Rudy whispered to the vultures "He's coming closer... keep going! He still thinks I'm dead!"

Dog good at Balance

Dog good at Balance

Dog good at Balance ..

You must look to car mirror

funny car
You must look to your car mirror ..

Famous Football Team

Funny Football Team
Funny Football Team

Crazy Mirror

Crazy Mirror
Where is the kid ?
Crazy Mirror

funny students

funny students

Have Fun

New Skiing

New Skiing
New Skiing

Tree's Gate

Tree's Gate .

Look what they did in the road !!
funny road

Funny questions and answers about animals 2

Funny Questions And Answers About Animals
( 2 )

What's the definition of a narrow squeak ?
A thin mouse !!

How do mice celebrate when they move home ?
With a mouse warming party !!

Where do fish wash ?
In a river basin !!

Where do frogs keep their money ?
In a river bank !!

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?
A frog with hiccups !!

How do frogs die ?
They kermit suidide !!

What fish goes up the river at 100mph ?
A motor pike !!

What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth ?
Hard cheese !!

What do toads drink ?
Croaka-cola !!

What's the coldest fish in the sea ?
A blue whale !!

What do frogs drink ?
Hot croako !!

Where are most fish found ?
Between the head and the tail !!

Funny questions and answers about animals 1

Funny Questions And Answers About Animals
( 1 )

What looks like half a cat ?
The other half !!

What do cat actors say on stage ?
Tabby or not tabby !!

What is the cat's favourite TV show ?
The evening mews !!

How do you get a cut-price parrot ?
Plant bird seed !!

What language do birds speak ?
Pigeon English !!

What do you give a sick bird ?
Tweetment !!

Do Apes kiss?
Yes, but never on the first date!!

What do mice do when they're at home ?
Mousework !!

What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see ?
Three blind mice !!

When should a mouse carry an umbrella ?
When it's raining cats and dogs !!

Carrying heavy

Carrying Heavy
Carrying heavy .
Carrying heavy

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Loses his tail

Q : Where does a dog go if he loses his tail?

A : A retailer.

Horses at the Race

horse racing

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.''

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens , the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ''Nothing is wrong with me, it's this bloody horse. What is he deaf or something?''

The trainer replies, ''Deaf?? DEAF?? He is not deaf , he is BLIND!''

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sister Act 2

Sister Act
Whoopi Goldberg
I Will Follow Him
Finale ..

Sister Act 1

Whoopi Goldberg ..
Salve Regina \ Hail Holy Queen ..
from Sister Act

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Funny Kids play

Funny Kids
look what kids did when thier mother went out ...
Funny Kids

Why do ducks have flat feet?

Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires
Why do Elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks ..

Swine Flu Masks

Sure you know Swine Flu ,

You need to know the last news about Swine Flu ....
Funny Swine Flu Masks





Funny Swine Flu Masks
Funny Swine Flu Masks

Swine Flu Masks

Funny Swine Flu Masks

Swine Flu

Funny Swine Flu

Funny Swine Flu Masks

Funny Swine Flu Masks

Ducks in Heaven

Ducks in Heaven

Three women die in a car accident and go to Heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the Gates and welcomes them saying "you can do as you please in Heaven, just don't step on any ducks."

The women are puzzled but proceed into Heaven. Looking around, they notice there are ducks everywhere. In a matter of minutes, one of the women steps on a duck.

Saint Peter walks up to the woman with a hideously ugly man. Saint Peter shackles the man and the woman together and says, "for stepping on a duck, you have to spend eternity chained to this ugly man."

The other two women are shocked but go about their business until, sure enough, another woman steps on a duck. Immediately Saint Peter comes and shackles her to another ugly man.

The last woman tries desperately to not step on a duck. After a few months of not stepping on any ducks, Saint Peter walks up to the woman accompanied by a stunningly handsome man. He shackles the woman to the man and after a while, the woman being thrilled to be chained to such a handsome man, says "I don't know what I did to deserve this."

The man replies, "I don't know what you did lady, but I stepped on a duck."



A timid little man, walked into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"

"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."

"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"

"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

A lonely Frog

A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Chickens want books

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say: Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.

The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.

She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

Amazing talking dog

A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of
drinks that my dog can talk."

Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."

Man: "What covers a house?"

Dog: "Roof!"

Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"

Dog: "Rough!"

Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"

Dog: "Ruth!"

Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."

The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door.
Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest
player Mantle?"

Why did the cow cross the road?

Why did the cow cross the road?

To go to the mooooovies!

Why did the gum cross the road?

Why did the gum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Hungry Baby

Don't leave your baby hungry .....

Because if you leave your baby hungry ,

He will ..........

Hungry Baby

Giant Foot

Giant Foot

Giant Foot ...


funny MONKEY photo
Oh , It is big problem ....

Friday, June 12, 2009

Funny Questions And Answer ( 3 )

Funny Questions And Answers
( 3 )

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
1 2 3

Funny Baby's Smile

Sweet baby with Funny Smile and Funny Look ..
funny smile

Pretty baby with Funny Smile ..
funny baby