Happy New Year 2009

2009

Happy New Year

FUNNY PLACE

hope

2009

be HAPPY YEAR for you

:D

FUNNY HAIR ( 2 )

Funny Hair
2

Funny Hair

Strange Hair Cut

Funny Hair Style

Funny heads

:D

FUNNY HAIR ( 1 )

FUNNY HAIR

Funny head

Funny Tall Hair Funny Hair Style

Funny hair cut

Funny Rat

Funny RAT

Smartest Man in the World

Smartest Man in the World

A lawyer, a doctor, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble .

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The lawyer grabbed one and said , "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." and jumped out.

The doctor then said " I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

Rich Man

Rich Man

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.
An angel hears his plea and appears to him."Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you."The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.
The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.
The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.
Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter.
Seeing the suitcase St. Peter says,"Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"
But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying,"You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."
St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims,"You brought pavement?!!!"

Funny Short Story.

Jack, Jim, and John were at a work together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of working they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Jack said to Jim and John , let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and John can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Jack stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and John began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!"

Funny Patient

Man felt ill so he went to the doctor and the doctor gave him a tablet.
He started cutting the sides of the tablet.
Doctor: why are you cutting the sides?
Patient: to avoid the side effects ...

Funny Computer Message

Funny Shark .

Look , SHARK is tricking man .

New trick , take care ..

Funny Dog ..

Funny dog playing with girl

Funny Dogs 1 , Funny Dogs 2 , Funny Dogs 3

Funny Fingers (2) . ( funny pictures )

Happy Finger

Funny foot .
Funny Finger
The finger is ASTRONAUT
Black Finger

Fingers Love

Finger in red wear

so funny finger

Funny Fingers (1) . ( funny pictures )

Fingers ( playing football )

Stromg Fingers .
Finger ( Smoking )
Fingers (playing football )
Finger in summer

Finger ( Drinking )

Rambo Finger .

Fingers ( running )

funny fingers

Injured Finger

Chinese Finger

funny finger

strange finger

Finger killing himself .

Modern Planting . ( funny picture )

Modern Planting is planting in keyboard .

Fire ( funny picture )

Do you know how to extinguish fire ?

Hair Cut ( funny picture ) .

The best way to cut your hair .

What is this?

CaT aNd FlY

Funny Shoes .

Crazy Pictures .

Crazy Cat

Funny Conversation .

Mark was an old man he was waiting bus ,

and John was young man who was going to cinema

John: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Mark: Certainly not.
John: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose,if you tell me thetime?
Mark: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.
John: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Mark: See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me andmay be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
John: Quite possible.
Mark: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my nameand address.
John: Quite possible.
Mark: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passingby and came into wish me. Then as a courtesy, I will offer you a cup oftea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again.This timeyou will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?
John: Possible .
Mark: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter has and I willthen have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you , and you willadmire my daughter.
John: Smiles. wink .
Mark: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again.You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
John: Smiles .
Mark: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you.After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose herfor marriage.
John: Smiles
Mark: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your loveand ask for my permission.
John: Oh Yes! And smiles
Mark: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a personlike you who does not even own a watch.

HaVe FuN

Accountant Jokes (2) .

When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

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What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

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What's an actuary?

An accountant without the sense of humor.

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Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?

They find bookkeeping too exciting.

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What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

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How do you drive an accountant completely insane?

Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.

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What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?

Go into town and gang-audit someone.

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Funny Animals ..

The Smart Blonde .

The Smart Blonde

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.
He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. "Hey, wanna play a game?" he asks her. "No thank you, i just want to take a nap." "Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that i ask you. If you don't know the answer, then you give me five dollars, and if I don't know the answer to your question, then Ill give you five dollars."
"I really don't want to do this. I just want to take a nap."
"Oh but PLEASE pretty please. Okay, how about if I don't know the answer to your question, I'll give you five hundred dollars." The blonde woman became interested and decided to play the game.
"Okay. How many moons does jupiter have?" the young man asked. The woman reached into her purse and took out a five dollar bill. "What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?".
The young man, determined not to lose, gets out his laptop and searches all over the internet for an answered. Flustered and confused, the young man hand the blonde five hundred dollars.
After a few hours, the young man was itching to know the answer to the question."What was the answer to the riddle?" the blonde woman reached into her purse and handed the young man a five dollar bill.

:)

Technical Support

Technical Support

I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.
Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in.
Anyway, the following call came in:

Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "It just doesn't boot up?"
Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system."
Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?"
Customer: "Yes, there is."
Tech Support: "Ok, is the computer plugged in?"
Customer: (irritated) "Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I'm a college graduate, you know."
Tech Support: "Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I'll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day."
Customer: (exasperated) "Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!"
Customer: "I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord."
Tech Support: "One extra cord?"
Customer: "Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that's all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one."
At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more...but use a bit of tact to do so.
Tech Support: "Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?"
Customer: "On the back of the computer?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir."
Customer: (sigh) "All right, all right, hold on..."
I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn't bother to verify it.
Tech Support: "Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?"
Dead silence. I could just picture the man's face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the "extra" power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn't wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.

The Farmer's Law .

The Farmer's Law 

One weekend a lawyer from New York decided to go bird hunting in Vermont. The lawyer drove to Vermont and found a good hunting spot near a farm. The lawyer sees a bird, shoots it and watches fall to the ground on the other side of the barns fence.

The lawyer, thinking to himself that's my bird I have to go get it, climbs the fence retrieves the bird and climbs back. Just as he gets back over the farmer comes up to him and says, "give me my bird." The lawyer says to him " your bird no no no I shot this bird it is mine."

"No" says the farmer,"it landed on my property it is mine." "Look" says the lawyer, "I am a lawyer, I will sue you , you will lose and I will get the duck." "No" says the farmer, "that's not how we do it here in Vermont, we use the three kick rule."

"Ok" says the lawyer, how does that work?" "I kick you three times as hard as I can, than you kick me as hard as you an three time and we keep going until one of us gives up." "Fine" says the lawyer, "let's go." "I'll go first" says the famer. So the famer kicks layer as hard as he can in the groin.

And just as lawyer is bent over in pain the famer kicks him right in the face. now just as the lawyer is thinking what did IU get myself into the farmer kicks him in the stomach. after the lawyer gets over the agonizing pain he says ok now it's my turn. No the farmer says, "I quit you can have the duck."

Crazy Hand !!!

Crazy Hand !!!

Strongest baby !!!

Strongest baby !!!

Strong Number ...

why was ten afraid of seven?
because seven eight (ate) nine .

:)

Tattoo ...

Tattoo Copy Fail !

:)

Accountant Jokes (1) .

(1)

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night.""Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

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(2)

An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old"."Where did you get this exact information?" "I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."

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(3)

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?" The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant." "Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient. "No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."

Monkey's Gun

Monkey : Don't move !!